maybe that’s ok

“I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am” — RM

Excerpt of the poem ‘Hereditary’ from Halsey’s I Would Leave Me If I Could

I’ve had mean words spill out of my mouth while my heart aches,
hands forming a fist and a heavy chest.
Just like the night breeze
I can be cold and make you freeze,
sometimes I can’t tell whether I’m angry or scared.

“maybe you should take better care of yourself”
“it seems like you’re losing focus”
“just make sure you’re safe”

I’m both a people pleaser and an overthinker,
I love to have people around and sometimes
no one by my side.
I’m a dreamer with a big mouth,
a messy head with a heavy heart.

“I wish I could handle things just as well as you do”
“your love for the things you do is wonderful”
“if I ever go through a hard time, I know I’d call you”

I'd love to say I'm always a good friend
But I would be lying to your face.
I watch the people around me,
They struggle and crumble
asking for my advice as if it was up to me to decide
What they do with their lives.

I’m caring and supportive,
I stay up late at night to help a friend out.
Some may say I have bad-temper
but that has never stopped me from doing what feels right.
I don’t think I’m always the best I can be, and maybe that’s ok.

I hurt people just as much as they hurt me,
perhaps that’s who I am.
I can’t change myself completely,
perhaps this is who I am.

I can always make an effort
and hope for the best but,
maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

Writing this piece reminded me of 5 Seconds of Summer’s song Old Me for some reason