Tiring / Inspiring

The friend who’s called rest, oh, I never liked him” BTS — Dis-ease

Overworking is a term I’d have to say I know very well. You know, I have this tendency of putting my all in everything I do and that often means I like to see improvement and getting acknowledged by what I achieve. At times, I get so caught up in the whole situation it feels like it’s trying to swallow me whole.

People yelling and rooms full of complaints, goals that can’t be achieved followed by inevitable consequences and the weight on my shoulders of carrying many more resposibilities than what I can take.
Imaginary fists around my neck and harsh words that somehow sound like a love song float in the air and sleep right next to me day after day.

Boredom and frustation walk into my life greeting me like old friends that haven’t seen each other in ages. With arms wrapped around my shoulders, they whisper every word I’ve been too afraid to say out loud — “why don’t you just leave?” “what are you losing if you decide this is not what you want?”

I like being in a team almost as much as I like doing what I do. Inside jokes full of background drama and shared stares that mean everything you can’t imagine. People’s reactions and feeling moved by their achievements even when that means you won’t get yours — you can always try next time.
Hugs after intense work shifts and shared coffees in a 15 mins break that never lasts long enough, late night texts ranting over your boss and how much each of you deserve better.

Encouragement and self awareness join in and welcome with arms wide opened, waiting for me to run towards them. With head resting on my shoulder while holding me tight they whisper words I’ve been trying to say out loud for a while now — “you can leave whenever you want but I know you can hold on” “this is the reason why you’re still giving it a try”